Tuesday, November 10, 2009

NaBloPoMo 10

One-third down, two-thirds to go. I can't really say that most of the posts have been interesting, but at least they are there, which must count for something. Maybe?
Today I showed K├Ąthe our wedding video, which I haven't seen in ages. Probably the last time I saw it would be 3-4 years ago, when I showed it to Ella. I still remember her shaking and giggling as it started, exclaiming "I'm just so excited!!". Kate was excited too, and we were watching along just fine until the camera panned out and I saw my grandmother. She died nearly 4 years ago, while I was pregnant with Kate. As soon as I saw her I burst into tears...I was so shocked by the wave of emotions that passed over me. I can't say that I think about her all that often, but as I child I saw her nearly every day. But to see her again, so recognizable from her mannerisms, there at my wedding...I just hadn't really thought about her being there, that there was any video of her in existence. I remember watching the video with Ella, and noticing Tom's grandpa, who passed away before Ella was born. This viewing I noticed my grandmother, and it made me realize that there is likely to be another person gone each time I happen to watch it. Perhaps that's where the extreme sadness came from, the realization that all these people that loved us are also leaving us as time goes by.

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