All three of my daughters are asleep...at the same time. Everyone has been out since 7:00, though I have a feeling Thea might not stay out for long. I should be loading the dishwasher, putting away laundry, etc. etc. but instead I am enjoying the quiet. Ehemann is off playing handball with friends, so the house is mine for a few moments.
I cannot really believe that I have three daughters. I had wanted a family that was different than my own: mom, dad, brother, sister. My husband and I had the same nuclear family format: older sister, younger brother. I though for sure that I would replicate it, until Little Whompers turned out to be a girl. And those two little girls were wonderful. In some ways I wanted to have one more baby, but I couldn't imagine us any different than with our two girls. And then that little blue line appeared...and I was doubtful. Yes, I knew we could get pregnant, and I knew that I had wanted another baby, but suddenly I was about to disrupt the perfect grouping that we had. It was a long pregnancy (42 weeks) and there was a lot of doubt. Was I up to the challenge? What would it be like to have three kids in a family? (Suddenly I was in uncharted territory). What would it do to my girls, to have another sibling? Would it disrupt their relationship? Would they pick a favorite to the exclusion of another? How would I relate to them all? Would I have a favorite?
Most of those questions have yet to play out, but I do know that Ella and Käthe love little Thea; they are so excited to be big sisters together. And somehow, I feel my feelings for them all are a bit more balanced, that instead of one or the other I have a better perspective of the needs of all three. For the moment, though things are a bit chaotic, I have an overwhelming sense of peace...now there are three, and we are still doing fine.