Friday, November 11, 2011

Better day

The fear and weeping of yesterday seem to have subsided...this is a point in pregnancy that I tend to freak out a little bit anyway. With my first baby I had the luxury of working in a lab by myself most of the time.  I had nothing to do but think about my baby while I did experiments. There was constantly stuff to plan and prepare and purchase, classes to attend and names to choose.
About midway through my second pregnancy I found myself agitated because there was nothing we really needed to do to prepare...all the "stuff" could be pulled out a couple of weeks before the expected day, the boy name was still waiting in the wings and we had contenders for a girl.  I found it really important to buy just a few things as a way of focusing on making a place for this new person in our thoughts and home.  Same with the this time we did need some replacement gear and I was able to do a little planning for the sake of mental preparation.
When you have a few other kids running around and spend your days trying to get them hither and yon, fed and cleaned, there is precious little time for laying around daydreaming about this new person.  Taking some time yesterday to get a few little things like pacifiers and "boy" onesies went a long way in easing both the anxiety of the unknown and the unsettled, unfocused feeling that comes from a pregnancy chugging along all on it's own.

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