I have spent the past week shirking my other duties to work on sewing a dress for myself. I rarely sew things for me, usually it's for the girls or gifts for other people. Sewing is a tricky hobby for me - I tend to feel a lot of guilt over the time and money that go into it, especially if things don't get finished.
My project list right now includes curtains and a bedskirt for Thea, quilting and binding my finished quilt top, and making a full quilt for the IO-DIS-E-CA quilt auction in October. I really shouldn't have added a pattern and fabric for a dress for myself to that mix, but I did. Then I sat down and gave every project a due date - the dress was first with a "finish by June 15th" deadline.
I have been using the Amy Butler Liverpool pattern and it was coming along with only minor frustrations. I upped my finish date to June 12 thinking that I would wear it to a going-away party Saturday night. And then, when I had the sleeves set in and everything finished except the buttons and hem, I tried it on. And then I cried. A lot actually. It seems a silly thing to cry over, but it didn't even occur to me that a center back seam and my scoliosis would be a disastrous combination.
I don't often think about having a spinal "deformity". It's not noticeable most of the time, and I stopped wearing my brace 14 years ago. But the center back seam, combined with a slightly protruding shoulder blade, pulled to the right in a very graphic outline of my crooked spine. I've let out the darts on the right, and taken them in on the left, and the seam looks just fine actually. There is some excess fabric on the left shoulder that no amount of taking in seams to help, and I've played around with some extra darts to no avail. It looks fine from the front, and really it's alright from the back too. But it bugs me...because like so many other things it falls into my absolutely perfect or not worth the effort personality. And because the things I sew tend to garner that coveted complimentary reaction I find myself double disappointed: No "perfect" project, no compliments, just a fat reminder that "hey those spine issues that you pretend don't exist are there" and feeling dissatisfied with my vocation doesn't mean that I should be out looking for validation elsewhere. So not a perfect dress, but perhaps an adequate one. Also not a total waste of time - my skills were improved, I know to not bother with a fitted bodice again, and hey, I had fun during the process!