Saturday, January 13, 2007

Um, hi, anyone remember me?

I used to write things here? Before the craziness that was December? Um, yeah. It was a bit busy. But we are home, and all the guests have left, and I actually worked a full week last week. Go figure.
Christmas was good. We traveled lots, there were gifts for whompers Big and Small (so many gifts, unbelieveable) and I didn't cry.
This not crying is a big improvement over Christmases past. At some point during the holidays I ususally feel so overwhelmed and out of control that a big, stressed sobfest is in order.
But this year I stepped up. Instead of worrying about what everyone else thought (about any number of things: breastfeeding, sleeping with my baby, going to church at the denomination of my choice) I just did things. Politely, but firmly. And all the worry about what would happen...unfounded.
When I was pregnant with Little Whompers I went to a therapist for the first time, to address anxiety issues I had as a result of things that happened during Big Whompers birth. In doing so, I was able to adress the underlying issue: I am afraid of making people angry, and so I worry and obsess and try to act in the way that I percieve them to expect of me. The funny thing is, I can never really come up with any dire consequences that might happen if I do what I want. This time, in the midst of all the relatives that I married into, I did what I wanted. The world didn't end, I had a happy Christmas, and foremost...I didn't cry.

1 comment:

happy and blue 2 said...

Glad you had a good Christmas..